Not the same

When you are away, I am reminded of how woven you are into my life.  All the simple rituals and routines are not the same without you. 

This morning (Saturday), I sipped coffee in bed and felt the emptiness beside me.  I went through a cookbook deciding what to make for dinner tonight and tomorrow, but skipped over 3/4s of the recipes as I would rather enjoy the meals with you than alone.

At the market today, I bought fresh white fish for 2 Euros, a beautiful Rosemary plant, a fresh loaf of yummy Kürbis bread, a fennel, broccoli, some apples and a pear.  When I came home, I was reminded that I had no one to share my market purchases with.  Little T just doesn’t share the same enthusiasm!

You would have loved the fish – so fresh. I pan-fried it in olive oil and butter, and with the juices mixed in lemon juice and capers. I steamed the broccoli then sautéed it in olive oil and chopped garlic.  Luckily, Tuscan only wanted half of his fish so I could eat the rest of his.  The combination of flavours were so simple, but so tasty.  A perfect meal, only if you could have shared a plate too.

I realize how much I share with you on a daily basis. Even the most mundane silly experiences… I want to tell you about them because I know you actually enjoy listening to me tell them.  Our lives may not be that exciting from an outsider looking in, but I cherish our week-end rituals.  A glass of wine in our bedroom looking out into the moonlight.  Relaxing in bed Saturday and Sunday morning with a book and a big mug of coffee.  Going to the market.  Exercising.  Lingering suppers over candlelight. Listening to our favourite music.  Holding hands while watching a film.  Croissants Sunday morning with jam, butter and honey.  Walks in a forest on Sundays.  Conversation, conversation and more conversation.

While you are away, I try to keep myself busy and not dwell on your absence.  I know you have to be away for work reasons, and that you would give anything to be home instead.  I try to write, read and exercise more.  I sleep in, and let my clothes pile up on my chair (I know how that drives you crazy!)

But, when I’m doing all the things we normally do together, I can’t help but feel sad.  And then, I am happy, because I know that soon we will enjoy these things together.

I am forever grateful for finding my soul mate.

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